Conundrum

We listen to seek understanding.

Or at least we try to.

Yet it is not often easy.

But definitely worth it.

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Clueless

There are times when I am just walking down the street, minding my own business when suddenly I am struck by cluelessness.

As if everyone in the world knows what they are doing and why, and I am the only soul here who is entirely clueless.

Then I look around and think again.

Perhaps everyone else is as clueless as I am. And it’s OK.

No need to panic.

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First World Problem

Hotel rooms.

The knobs and buttons for all the various lighting fixtures in hotel rooms will forever remain a mystery to me.

Trying to switch them all off simultaneously so that I can sleep in complete darkness is always a challenge.

Me and my first world problems.

Books

I went to the bookstore again today.

Came home with three books.

My purpose there was not just to purchase books.

I also went to have a coffee today.

Drank a lovely little cup of coffee.

My purpose there was not just to drink coffee.

I went and did a bunch of things today.

Accomplished several tasks and errands.

But my purpose was not to complete tasks and run errands.

I failed…

I failed to see your pain.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to feel your struggle.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to see things through your eyes.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to understand you.
I was too busy trying to understand myself.

The Beauty of Pain

Our natural instinct is to avoid pain.
When we feel pain, we find ways to distract ourselves.
We suppress the feeling by scrolling through our phones, checking our messages and looking at other people's pains.

Then the pain just grows.
It builds up, it spreads like moss.
Till nothing is beautiful anymore, and our lives are but a puzzle of anxieties, dreads and unrequited love.

When people exercise they advocate "feel the pain and do it anyway".
The same goes in life.

We need to surrender.
Let it wash over us.
Feel every molecule of pain writhe through our bodies and squeeze your heart dry.

Only then will the pain begin to fade.
And you let other feelings in.
At first it is all bit numb. Then you start to feel your toes again.
And then you wriggle your feet.
And you get up.
And you start all over again.

Harvest Moon

My love.

I’d like to add one thing to our list.

Let’s slow dance to this Neil Young song.
“Harvest Moon”

Come a little bit closer

Hear what I have to say

Just like children sleeping

We could dream this night away

But there’s a full moon rising

Let’s go dancing in the light

We know where the music’s playing

Let’s go out and feel the night 

Because I’m still in love with you

On this harvest moon

When we were strangers

I watched you from afar

When we were lovers

I loved you with all my heart

But now it’s getting late

And the moon is climbing high

I want to celebrate

See it shining in your eye

Because I’m still in love with you

On this harvest moon

Darkness vs Black Hole

Sundays are tough for people who are sad.

It is the one day before the week starts again.

It is the day you feel obliged to make the most of.

It is the day when the world expects you to be happy.

And yet, it is often the saddest day of the week for you when you are sad.

Sadness need not be a black hole that swallows you and everything that goes with it.

Sadness is darkness.

All it takes is a match, a torch, or a lone star to light your way back.

I love the darkness for it shows me the stars. And the moon.

I hope this makes you smile in your darkness too, if you are having a particularly sad Sunday.