I love to draw.
I draw love.
Perhaps I have not learnt to appreciate certain styles of poetry, I find it personal and very subjective when it comes to sharing poetry.
Either you love it or you don’t, or perhaps you just don’t get it.
It’s similar to saying I love you, either the feeling is reciprocated, or not, or perhaps you just don’t get it.
Similar to songs.
You love it, get it and appreciate it.
Or it simply makes no sense to you.
I overheard a conversation between a little boy and his little brother today whilst walking along the subway platform, they were holding hands.
I will let the pictures tell you this very short story.
It’s not so much a princess fantasy, but more from concern that my little dog would be left completely helpless…
I have a fear of dying from my asthma attacks.
So I am thankful that I have friends who check on me regularly, and they are committed to breaking down my front door if the time comes (well, they would have my spare keys, but let’s make it a big more dramatic) so that they can rescue my dog, and perhaps me too, if it isn’t already too late.
This is not meant to be morbid. It’s meant to be appreciative.
I feel very special to have people who would do that for me.
And I am glad I can have conversations like this with them.
I am conflicted when it comes to saying “I love you”.
Say it too often and it loses its meaning and impact.
Not saying it often enough feels as if those moments would slip by.
Yesterday I got a surprising little “I love you” from a dear friend who told me that the feeling came over her, and she wanted to tell me that.
These “I love you”s are probably the most precious ones.
When the moment somehow compels you to tell that person that you love them.
Not a perfunctory one.
Not a forced one.
Not one done out of habit.
A genuine love-infused one.
Last week was a tough week for me.
Had a lot on my mind, a few challenges that had to be dealt with, and on top of it all, I had been travelling quite a bit, and I was probably quite homesick.
And someone noticed.
I had lost my usual sparkle.
I had not expected anyone to notice.
And it was sweet that someone cared enough to say something and ask me about it.
It’s little things like this that make a huge difference to someone.
When someone messages you and asks, “is everything ok?”
When someone makes an effort to make you laugh at the end of a tough day.
When someone suggests watching a funny movie to change your mood.
When someone just cares enough to do something about it.
I think I got my sparkle back this week.
Thank you for caring enough.
I spend a lot of time staring at my calendar.
The calendar on my wall.
On my phone.
On my iPad.
On my computer screen.
Sometimes this brings me a sense of calm.
It allows me to see how my life will pan out in the coming days, weeks and months.
Sometimes this brings a slight panic that starts to well up deep inside.
It shows me how my life might or might not be in the coming days, weeks and months.
So I remind myself.
Manage what is within your control.
The rest, let it go.
All that and more, goes on in my mind when you see me staring at my calendar.
Some days are just filled with as much frustration as there are things to be grateful for.
It’s better to find sweetness in those small moments than to let the disappointments get you down.
I can do this.