Calendar Meditations

I spend a lot of time staring at my calendar.

The calendar on my wall.

On my phone.

On my iPad.

On my computer screen.

Sometimes this brings me a sense of calm.

It allows me to see how my life will pan out in the coming days, weeks and months.

Sometimes this brings a slight panic that starts to well up deep inside.

It shows me how my life might or might not be in the coming days, weeks and months.

So I remind myself.

Manage what is within your control.

The rest, let it go.

All that and more, goes on in my mind when you see me staring at my calendar.

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Most of Love is Lost

I have been practising the Four Agreements since the start of this year.

And I have not been very successful at all.

Not even with the First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word.

It is much harder than I imagined.

The first doodle of 2018 is inspired by Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements.

And of course, the greatest poet philosopher, Khalil Gibran.

And, my failures and mistakes.

A Thousand Oceans

Your eyes carry the weight of a thousand oceans

and the echo of the universe

I promise you…

That you will be happy again.

~ My Persian Poet ~

I have written these words down where I can see them everyday.

First World Problem

Hotel rooms.

The knobs and buttons for all the various lighting fixtures in hotel rooms will forever remain a mystery to me.

Trying to switch them all off simultaneously so that I can sleep in complete darkness is always a challenge.

Me and my first world problems.

Books

I went to the bookstore again today.

Came home with three books.

My purpose there was not just to purchase books.

I also went to have a coffee today.

Drank a lovely little cup of coffee.

My purpose there was not just to drink coffee.

I went and did a bunch of things today.

Accomplished several tasks and errands.

But my purpose was not to complete tasks and run errands.

I failed…

I failed to see your pain.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to feel your struggle.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to see things through your eyes.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to understand you.
I was too busy trying to understand myself.

The Beauty of Pain

Our natural instinct is to avoid pain.
When we feel pain, we find ways to distract ourselves.
We suppress the feeling by scrolling through our phones, checking our messages and looking at other people's pains.

Then the pain just grows.
It builds up, it spreads like moss.
Till nothing is beautiful anymore, and our lives are but a puzzle of anxieties, dreads and unrequited love.

When people exercise they advocate "feel the pain and do it anyway".
The same goes in life.

We need to surrender.
Let it wash over us.
Feel every molecule of pain writhe through our bodies and squeeze your heart dry.

Only then will the pain begin to fade.
And you let other feelings in.
At first it is all bit numb. Then you start to feel your toes again.
And then you wriggle your feet.
And you get up.
And you start all over again.

Speak Lotuses, Not Mud

When you open your mouth, what comes out?
Mud? Filth? Negativity?
Useless comments?
Meaningless uttering?

Or lotuses?
Beautiful flowers that rise from the mud?
Generous praises and kind words?
Appreciation and thankfulness?

This stoic reminder is so simple, but so hard to do.
I like to imagine what spills from my mouth so that I do not speak words in hate, anger or frustration.
It is a daily practice that I do not often succeed at.

My Sea to Your Shore

Like sea to the shore.

High tide, low tide.

Up close. Far away.

Ebb and flow.

Love is knowing that there are bright days and dark nights.

Love is knowing that oceans exist because there are shores.

Time, give me time.

Time is all we’ve got.

And time is all we can give.

If someone can’t even give you their time, you know you’re not important to them.

If someone says, I do care but I’m just too busy, that’s just fucking horseshit.

#FHS #fuckinghorseshit  #notsoluminous