A Thousand Oceans

Your eyes carry the weight of a thousand oceans

and the echo of the universe

I promise you…

That you will be happy again.

~ My Persian Poet ~

I have written these words down where I can see them everyday.

Advertisements

Books

I went to the bookstore again today.

Came home with three books.

My purpose there was not just to purchase books.

I also went to have a coffee today.

Drank a lovely little cup of coffee.

My purpose there was not just to drink coffee.

I went and did a bunch of things today.

Accomplished several tasks and errands.

But my purpose was not to complete tasks and run errands.

I failed…

I failed to see your pain.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to feel your struggle.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to see things through your eyes.
I was too busy with my own.

I failed to understand you.
I was too busy trying to understand myself.

The Beauty of Pain

Our natural instinct is to avoid pain.
When we feel pain, we find ways to distract ourselves.
We suppress the feeling by scrolling through our phones, checking our messages and looking at other people's pains.

Then the pain just grows.
It builds up, it spreads like moss.
Till nothing is beautiful anymore, and our lives are but a puzzle of anxieties, dreads and unrequited love.

When people exercise they advocate "feel the pain and do it anyway".
The same goes in life.

We need to surrender.
Let it wash over us.
Feel every molecule of pain writhe through our bodies and squeeze your heart dry.

Only then will the pain begin to fade.
And you let other feelings in.
At first it is all bit numb. Then you start to feel your toes again.
And then you wriggle your feet.
And you get up.
And you start all over again.

Darkness vs Black Hole

Sundays are tough for people who are sad.

It is the one day before the week starts again.

It is the day you feel obliged to make the most of.

It is the day when the world expects you to be happy.

And yet, it is often the saddest day of the week for you when you are sad.

Sadness need not be a black hole that swallows you and everything that goes with it.

Sadness is darkness.

All it takes is a match, a torch, or a lone star to light your way back.

I love the darkness for it shows me the stars. And the moon.

I hope this makes you smile in your darkness too, if you are having a particularly sad Sunday.

One of those days…

Today has been one of those days.

Anxiety gnaws at you like a dull ache you cannot shake.

Everything always works out fine in the end.

Then why is it that we need to torture ourselves with such useless emotions?

(Drawing from back in 2012. A recurring theme.)

Good Morning

All they had left were a few simple words.

A few simple words were all that they needed.

Melancholia or Humidity?

Summer.

Rainy hot humid season.

Not my favourite.

Other people find Autumn and Winter melancholic.

Summer depresses me.

The heat. The humidity. The heaviness in the air.

It’s hard to breathe.

Like wading through a fog. My head feels thick.

I’d rather have the heavy rain from last week.

Thankfully the forecast is for rain this weekend. 

Please let it POUR.

  

  

A Simple Request

Timing is important, she realised.

She wanted to undo the request, but it was too late.

I should have made a different request, she thought.

Simple as they were, the effort involved in making these requests made her throat constrict.

And then she remembers.

Those were your words. 

You had asked me the same thing.

I want you to be happy. 

You’d think this was the sweetest thing anyone could say to you.

Yet it made your throat constrict.

Being happy is a huge request.